Phlegm-O

What we have here is a detail of the mucusy creature lodged in my esophagus. Judging from the size of it, this phlegmy glob must have been building since last night. Now it's wedged firmly below the punching bag at the back of my mouth and refuses to vacate without a fight. Problem is I'm at work. The amount of noise and effort it would take to expel Phlegm-O from my pipe would be unacceptable here in the office. Removal requires some herculean hacking and gagging, stirring revulsion from my coworkers. Not to mention the fact that the strain of effort will most likely cause me to evacuate my bowels.
So here I sit. I can't speak without sounding like I'm gargling vaseline and there's a wet rhythmic slapping sensation that accompanies my breathing. I'll just count the minutes until I can go home and hurl this matzoh ball from my system.

Expectorate your thoughts here.